Deep point of view allows the reader to easily step into the viewpoint character’s shoes, experiencing every action and reaction through the character’s senses. — DiAnn Mills
One of the best ways to deepen your storytelling is to make sure your descriptions come from the character’s perspective, not the author’s. Readers are most excited when they experience the world through the character’s eyes, not as a distant observer. In a deep point of view, readers don’t merely see the hot frying pan. They feel it.
How can you tell the difference? Let’s look at some examples.
The Important Test
Ask yourself: Through whose eyes do we see what’s happening? If the description reflects what you want readers to know, it’s your perspective, not the character’s. If it reflects only what the character notices, feels, and believes at that moment, you have a deep, engaging point of view for the reader.
Telling About the Scene
An authorial voice feels like a narrator reporting facts, detached from the character’s emotion. It may sound elegant and informative. It might be entertaining. But it creates distance between the reader and what is happening in the story. For example: The basement was damp and silent, cloaked in eerie shadows. A dim light glowed overhead, casting ghostly light on the dusty floor.
Beautiful, right? But we’re seeing the picture without experiencing it. There’s no emotion, no filter, no bias. For a deep point of view, we must connect the information to the character. For example: Each footstep shattered the silence, echoing off the basement walls. The shadows seemed alive—watching, waiting. She squinted at the single bulb overhead, wishing for warm light. But no. The cold light flickered across the dust like fog over forgotten graves. This place didn’t just feel empty. It felt like it remembered things.
With the two examples we should notice that a deep point of view may require more time to visualize the scene through the character’s eyes and … use more words. If you want readers to be distanced from the action so they don’t feel the moment, then use the short, telling version.
Living the Scene
When coming from the character, description is colored by emotion, fear, and desire. It reflects the character’s worldview. This is the magic where the reader isn’t just watching the scene but living it. Example: Ugh. Trees again. She ducked under a branch that slapped her cheek as if it resented her pressing forward. But she must, even in the moonlight that was enough to trip her if she wasn’t careful.
How does she feel? Frustrated. Tense. Maybe she would avoid the night if it weren’t for her persistence. How might this scene be described from a telling point of view? Example: She hated trees. She ducked a branch that slapped her cheek, hindering her progress. The pale moonlight cast shadows that made every root and stone a hazard. The second example isn’t always wrong, but the telling is less engaging.
Narrative Distance
The reporter’s perspective is distant and neutral Example: The house looked abandoned, obviously untouched for many years. The character’s perspective is up-close and personal. Example: The place reeked of mildew and loneliness. Even the shadows seemed tired.
Word Choice
The reporter’s descriptions often use literary or polished language. Example: He appeared irritated. Character-based descriptions use words that fit the character’s background, age, and attitude. With clenched jaw, he stared at the floor, saying nothing.
Emotion and Bias
Reporters will give details that reveal what concerns the character. Example: She walked into the ballroom and admired the elaborate decor. Characters notice what matters to them, and they ignore what doesn’t. Their biases will shine through. Examples: Oh, great. Another gold-trimmed eyesore with fancy furnishing, trying too hard to impress. Or: She stepped into a dream. Crystal chandeliers. Velvet curtains. It took her breath away.
Character Knowledge
A reporter will sometimes include information that the character couldn’t possibly know. Example: Little did she know, the man at the bar had been watching her for hours. Or: This was a game that would be won by the underdog. Through the character’s eyes, we see a different picture. Example: Weird. That guy at the bar keeps looking my way. Have I spilled something on my blouse? Or: The underdog had no chance of winning this game, not without a miracle.
The Dialogue Test
If what the character says sounds like it could be said by anyone, it might be a generalization from a reporter’s perspective. Example: “People always find a way to mess things up,” he said, staring out the window. If the words are distinctive, with the character’s unique voice and mood, readers have the sense of being part of the scene and are more engaged. Example: “Of course they screwed it up.” His lips twitched in a bitter half-smile. “Same circus. Different clowns.”
Feel the Difference
The reporter’s perspective causes readers to be observers, not participants in the story. Example: Rain fell steadily, soaking the ground and chilling her to the bone. The wind howled through the trees as she trudged forward, determined to finish the journey. How might we rewrite that scenario so readers feel the rain soaking through their clothes? Example: Rain slapped her face like the sky had a grudge. Her socks squished in her boots, every step a soggy curse. But she wasn’t stopping. Not now. Not ever.
Feel the difference? Now that you understand the goal, you’ve taken the most important step toward deepening the point of view. When there’s a will, you’ll find a way.
The more your descriptions sound like your characters thinking, feeling, and judging the world around them, the more engaging your writing will be. Give your readers more than the look of the room. Use action, body language, and dialogue to show how your character feels.
For a practical guide to storytelling, check out Storytelling at Its Best
