Common Writing Redundancies

1. We slurped water into our dry, parched throats.
2. Thoughtful people should be asking the question if we are better off. (If we ask, the sentence has to be a question.)
3. One needs minimal analytical skills to see the end result. (The result is always at the end, after all the votes are counted.)
4. In our schools, children need a lot more truth and a lot less brainwashing. (How much more is a lot? We think we’re adding meaning, but we’re really not, at least not a lot.)
5. He should have talked to Bethany and told her Bethany the truth. (If he told Bethany the truth, wouldn’t we know he talked to her?)
6. Her running shoes crunched on the gravel path making as she made a third loop on the trail. (Path is redundant with trail. The path wasn’t making a third loop, she was.)
7. He looked over at him, searching for an answer.
8. Whenever he taught the workshop, he always took his students to an outdoors setting. (Whenever contains the always concept, so we want to avoid the repetition.)
9. A troubling sight snapped him out of his reverie and stopped him cold.
10. We visually inspected each leaf for insects. (How else?)
11. Memories circled around in her head, an endless parade of sorrows. (Can you circle in squares?)
12. They were left virtually alone in the world. (Where else?)
13. She entered the kitchen with a look of ecstasy on her face. (Where else would we expect to see a look of ecstasy?)
14. An adolescent A boy came out of the woods. (Aren’t all boys adolescent?)
15. You can get home before it gets too dark.
16. We waited to see what would happen next. (Would we ever need to wait and see what happened earlier?)
17. A quick One glance confirmed his suspicions. (Is there a slow glance?)
18. Jesus proceeded to board boarded the boat with his disciples.
19. Thoughts raced through my head at trailblazing speed. (Can you race slowly?)
20. We can expect a different outcome as a result. (Isn’t the outcome the result?)
21. The rain was cascading down in torrents. (Can it rain up?)
22. Several heads nodded in approval. (Would they nod in disapproval?)
23. I deliberately chose to rise above the fear. (Can you unintentionally choose?)
24. Collectors saw his paintings and large murals. (How can we tell how much larger a “large mural” is, compared to an ordinary mural?)
25. We can do specific things to minimize the resultant debility. (Can we do unspecific things?)
26. The celebrated ceremony loomed in her mind. (A ceremony includes the concept of celebration.)
27. Jones clinched his fist and knocked on the door. (How else would a person knock?)
28. The world will tell them in subtle and not so subtle ways that they are not good enough. (Subtle and not subtle covers all possibilities, so we don’t need to say that.)
29. We started dancing around danced in a circle. (Around is obvious for circles.)
30. The girls were right behind him and peeked around their father. (If they peeked around, we know they were behind him.)
31. He flicked his cigarette into the cotton stalks nearby. (How far can someone flick a cigarette?)
32. He looked back with a big smile on his face. (Where else?)
33. My story finally concludes with my final night of dangerous living. (If it concludes, we know it’s final.)
34. The winners would have the privilege of performing perform at the Coliseum.
35. The white church steeple rose into the still air, gleaming in the setting sun like a bright and shining beacon. (Is there a beacon that doesn’t shine?)
36. He might be late for staff meetings on occasion. (Saying he might be late tells us that it occasionally happened.)
37. My heart pounded in my chest. (Where else would it pound?)
38. They walked across the road to the other side. (If they went across the road, they had to be on the other side.)
39. She sat down, clutching the bag in her hands on her lap. (Would she clutch the bag with her feet?)
40. Inside, a man wore rubber gloves on his hands and a headset with a small microphone in front of his lips. (Where else does a person wear gloves?)
41. Bethany followed behind the prancing dog. (Can you be ahead and follow?)
42. Many of the kids standing nearby made fun of him. (How would they make fun of him if they weren’t standing nearby?)
43. The sun sank behind the mountains to the west. (Can the sun set in any other direction?)
44. He mumbled through a mouth stuffed full of with pancake. (If the mouth is stuffed, it has to be full.)
45. I may have discovered an answer or at least a possibility. (If you may have discovered an answer, it’s a possibility.)
46. For a brief moment, he searched the crowd for her. (All moments are brief.)
47. He and a friend not only installed the lights but also repaired the porch light to working condition. (Could it be repaired to a non-working condition?)
48. There’s a good restaurant at the marina on the lake. (Where else would you find a marina?)
49. However, I could only shrug my shoulders… (Can we shrug anything but shoulders?)
50. With closed eyes, I shook my clenched fist and groaned. (What does an unclenched fist look like?)
51. I add more wood to my fire. (What else? Less would be taking wood away.)
52. They talked about their hopes and dreams for the future. (Can one have hopes and dreams for the past?)
53. Self-improvement is an ongoing a process.

Avoid Obvious In-between Steps
1. He reached over and helped her to her feet.
2. Sam stood up and walked to his friend. (If Sam had been sitting, he obviously stood up to walk to his friend. We don’t need the in-between step.)
3. He snapped shut the briefcase and rose to file filed off the train with the others.
4. She held her hand under his head and lifted it so he could sip the brew.
5. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
6. I reached over and picked up the phone.
7. She reached in and pulled out a pink sweater. (If she pulled out the sweater, we know she reached in.)
8. Valerie hustled her through the door, into the crowded living room and into a political discussion.
9. They raised their hands and locked them their hands behind their heads.